Fake News

Fake news: Hillary Clinton is running a child sex ring out of a Washington DC Pizzeria basement. Evidence for it: cryptic messages pulled from otherwise innocuous emails about ordering pizza. Evidence against it: Pizzeria doesn't have a basement! Common sense. You might not like her, and think she's bad for the country, but come on! Acting on that rumor a guy went in there and fired an AR-15.

Real news: Donald Trump sexually assaulted nearly two dozen women. Evidence for it: similar first hand accounts from women who don't know each other of the incidents that often times are corroborated by pictures and schedules showing they were together. Trump has decades of interviews admitting to lewd behavior with women. ALSO DONALD TRUMP ADMITTED HE SEXUALLY ABUSED WOMEN ON VIDEO! Evidence against: Trump says it's fake news. It's not.

Get your shit together America.

Messed up dream

While sleeping last night I was dreaming and laughed out loud. Because I talk in my sleep and Jaime tries to egg me on to say silly stuff, she asked me what was so funny. She woke me up and I told her to leave me alone! The benefit of her asking is that I remember what the dream was. I will now share it with you. When you read this you'll probably think that I am making it up or somehow embellishing. I promise you this is the dream I had. Exactly.

I was watching a movie or TV show. I'm not sure which. It was a dark comedy staring Ellie Kemper (Erin from the Office and Kimmy Schmidt) and Jimmy Fallon. The premise is they're a couple living together and planning a spree killing. Oh, and this is a musical.

So they're in their house, singing a song about how they're ready to go on a rampage, while Gary Coleman is installing blinds on their windows. Yup, Gary Coleman. They sing their song about how this is going to be THE BEST DAY! And when they finish Gary Coleman walks out from behind the couch. They'd forgotten he was there while they were singing the song, you see, because he's short and they couldn't see him.

That's when I laughed out loud. Welcome to my mind! It's either a hilarious, or a scary place to be depending on whether or not you like dark, sometimes totaly inappropriate, comedy.